Monday, April 19, 2010

Weeks on end....

Well another week gone by with not much accomplished...

On a bright note my mother took the kids Friday night (very unexpected), me and double d argued most of the night about who was more boring and how the kids are the only thing we have in common, then we had sex all night and that changed that thought. Amazing sex of course is the common denominator between us. And that's OK with me.

Whats better than having the father of your kids be your best friend and amazing sex partner....

Anyways back to work it is... plenty to do and never enough time...

P.S. Gina is back but not for long, kids still sick with the mersa-african-h1n1 flu... I have a feeling she is leaving early....only time will tell.

Personal Thoughts by Lea....

Emotional Bandaids and Explosive Crap.

Happy Monday Scallywags!

This weekend was like riding a psychotic horse towards a burning stable. My kids got some rare African disease where all they did was vomit and have explosive diarrhea. My hands even had the strange after-smell of throw up...No matter how much I scoured them with bleach and scoulding water.. the smell wouldn't come out. Today I'm coving it with cheapo body spray. I feel so pretty.

I don't know if any of you know...yeah you probably don't but Mr. R and I have been in an epic battle. Locked in time in a horrible fight against "who-does-what-and-who-doesn't-do-shit-around-the-house"..Naturally this was a weeks worth of arguing and proving points. Finally after all my hard work I noticed that Mr.R was actually contributing around the house. After all its hard not to when I'm screaming from the changing table "ITS A GUSHER GET ME A GROCERY BAG YOU LAZY SON OF A BITCH!"

But then again I consider this a small and temporary band aid. I know, as well as you do, that it won't last long this "helping phase" he is going through.

Let's admit it, helping sucks...couching it and lounging around on a fat ass is awesome.

BUT NO ONE said life was all cookies and rainbows..

They did however whisper that it was up-chuck and watery shit pants.

Toodles's time to wash my hands again.
Love Always,

Friday, April 16, 2010

Shoes on the other foot.... attention everyone

Well, well, well... Guess what everyone miss bloggity blog who was just on me the other day for having to call in (due to very sick children) just went home early cause her daughter is sick. hmmm.

Very interesting.... I really didn't even hear the phone ring, i think she may have just wanted a mini vacation or wanted to get a jump start on her weekend. Either way she left me in a lurch, now I cannot even go get lunch, cause she has the only office key... she is so thoughtful. Now I have 152 files to finish up today all on my own, whats the good of an assistant is she don't assist.

Well I guess its tit for tat and maybe that is why her kid is now sick, because she was making fun of me and telling vicious lies about how I just wanted a day off....

She has just called and asked me for her own cell number because she is not only leaving her kids at day care she is going shopping at Wal-Mart, supposedly her kids are napping, well how can they be throwing up and having diarrhea when they are sleeping.... something is not right......

Sex Sells....

Well, it seems to me its been proven time and time again that sex/dirty talk sells.

How do I know, you ask!

When I write about my boring old life of kids, cleaning, laundry, work, yada, yada, yada... no one responds/comments.

When I talk about my sex life or other people's sex lives the responses are unbelievable... but then they say "You are a sicko" or " I cant believe you are talking like that".

Well then respond to my normal talk and I wont have to talk nasty.

Just ranting....

This blogging thing reminds me of face book but on a higher level. Face book is a little more fun cause I get more feedback, but maybe this blogging thing will pick-up. Maybe I should write about sex... then maybe the comments will come flowing through......

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Change of Heart...

Ok, so maybe I was a little harsh, just then. I am simply trying to point out that no one can change your life but you. I guess it would not be laziness, it would be more of a "not wanting to change the situation, no matter how much you say you want to", kind of thing. Gina even says it herself to others... "if your not gonna change it, then stop bitchin about it". Maybe its an attention getter for something to talk/bitch about. Who knows/cares?

I believe, you can do/change anything... you just have to do it. And saying it cant be done cause of this or that is just a bunch of excuses. Its always blamed on someone/something.... but its your life people, not mine.

Make up- Who needs it...

My whole life I have never really worn make up. I have never worn eye shadow ever unless I am playing dress up with my daughters. I don't think I really need it. I do wear a little cover up to smooth out the face and a little lipstick, I think a little lip stick is better than white ashy lips???

My husband always says look how good you look without make-up, those girls have to wear make-up to look like that!!! So, So, True.

Gina thinks lipstick brings attention to the teeth, but if you ask me white paste that collects from the dryness of the lips and teeth brings attention to your teeth. Sometimes I don't really get her reasoning... Its always a mystery to me.

I don't wear make-up cause I choose not too, I think Gina doesn't really try. She does not have time, she says. I think she does not want to deal with the kids but if she wanted to it can be done. My mother and I am sure her mother wore a full face of make-up when we were little. Mothers have been doing it for years with kids, mothers have just gotten lazier. Kind of like how she bitches about never being able to take her kids anywhere, she does not want to deal with them, it not that she cant actually go somewhere. Again mothers have gotten lazy throughout the years. I know its hard my 3 where all little at once, and yeah you come home sweaty and exhausted, but at least you did it. And little by little it gets easier cause your kids learn how to behave in public or learn how to act in other peoples houses.

I am so tired of peoples excuses for the things that don't go right in their life. My life's not perfect by any means, but when I don't like something, I do something to change it. It may not always be easy but in the end I am happier for it.....

Her life is very frustrating to me.... she gives me good blogging idea's.

Okay So I changed it.

I changed the title of our blog. So sue me.
I'm sitting here doing some file audits at my big desk in my small chair and this title came to me.

Lea and I are smokers. We smoke allot. We always think of quitting but never actually say the words out loud. Afraid it might actually come true, that an ancient curse will befall us. For me cigarettes are one of the functions that I enjoy doing.I hate laundry, I hate dishes, cooking dinner, cleaning out the garage but I love to smoke. They are an extension of who I am. They are a choice I make. And I will continue to smoke.

People say "Your going to get cancer and your going to die."

Well, we are all going to die. What if I quit today...then months later I'm involved in a freak accident and suffer a slow agonizing death? The only thing I'm going to think of while in my death bed is "I should have never quit smoking."

The other part of the title is "with No Make-up" Another part of mother hood and full time jobs is that we rarely get 5 minutes alone to actually put on make-up. Well I don't anyways, I don't know about Lea because her life is perfect. I think she is just a late sleeper.
Anyways, neither one of us wear make-up which is quite scary at times but we don't really care. The only time one of us is wearing it is when theres a funeral or a wedding. Other than that..we are sans make-up.

Lea tends to wear shockingly red lipstick now and then..and I mostly laugh as she trucks off to a meeting. But that's it.

So the title suits us and I think she will agree. And if she doesn't it wouldn't be the first time.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


Why does it seems like I do dishes 3 times a night? Oh yeah, that's right..because I do.

Does anyone care? Do I hear a thank you looming around the sink? No I don't.

Not that I expect appreciation for daily house chores but once in a while it would be nice.

"Oh hey, If I haven't told you lately, your the best and I love the way my laundry smells so fresh!"

But I suppose I wasn't put on this earth for thanks you's. In fact I'm beginning to believe I already died in a horrible accident and this never ending days of self esteem reducing my very own piece of hell. And Mr. R is Satan himself.

I'm starting to get why people have sordid affairs with random strangers...or shoot up meth in the closet...or be addicted to cream filled donuts. There has to be an outlet or a silver lining that makes everything okay..even for a minute.

"Yes, I am tired. Yes, my dog has ear mites and my vacuum broke but it will all be okay after I eat this chocolate eclair." Done...happiness achieved.

Today I am at work. There is allot I should be doing. But instead I'm blogging and staring at said work. Sometimes you just need a day to reflect and I'm certainly not getting that back at base camp.

What do I do to deal with these things? I'm addicted to caffeine. I pretend its rum and chug it non stop. Even though in the back of my mind I know I'm going to have a cardiac arrest I drink it anyways. Really all I'm trying to do is achieve the most "awakeness" that my body can handle. Its a sick sick game...but hey no one has mentioned anything even though I drink three day old coffee in the middle of the night. Fuck it, I'll wake up tired either way.

This is how I cure the the "SAMENESS". It is my release. It is the one thing I can control.

And now I will crack open my energy drink and start working before Lea calls me on intercom and asks what I'm doing. I'm running out of lies to tell her.

Sick Day or Errands....Which is worse...

So, OK... Yeah I took yesterday off. When you have sick children that is what you do. I don't send them to school and wait to be called by someone stating that my child has infected the entire school. Whats the point, Ill just have to go home anyways...

On the other hand Gina runs enough errand around here that pretty much add up to a full 8 hours per week. For some reason she has this crazy thing about going into stores and businesses after 4pm. Weather its diapers, wipes, a birthday present for someone she really does not care for, gas or the bank, she gets really sweaty and jittery if 3pm is coming and she has not completed her errand list. Its a disability I am sure, they just done have a name for it.

I expect her to understand with her being a mother and all... but after a while you learn to expect nothing and wait for her to comment sarcastically about your life....

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Going Solo..

Today Lea has taken yet another sick day. So I am alone, cold and hungry. I feel the earth ready to swallow me whole without her. I'm lost in this big hollow office...

No, not really. It's actually kind of peaceful without her. On with Tuesday!

I have drank a large Mcdonalds ice coffee, a box of Nerds and a Rockstar energy drink and wouldnt you know...I'm still tired. And I'm almost sure that I'm going to go into a diebetic coma. I'm even more tired when I think about going home to the family and dragging something out for dinner then dealing with Mr. R's (boyfriend) bullshit.

I have never met a man with more emotional issues than a cheerleader on hormone pills. It's no wonder I can't catch up with myself. Kids, house, Mr. R....I need a vaction. A vaction in which I never come back.

By the way..I have some errands to run before Lea might kill me with her lazer vision and I may not return.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Hi, it's Gina!

Hi out there in Blogspot Land. So this should be fun. My best bud and I decided one day at the office while we were putting our "work" on the back burner which is fancy talk for "ignoring" decided to make a blog. We have lots to say apparently, just no one really wants to listen.

So, a little about myself. I am 27 year old high school drop out with two kids and the father of my childern is a former marine with PTSD. You might hear alot from Lea about how her and her husband are best friends and how they have sex in the closet...but you won't be hearing that from me. My boyfriend and I are a nightmare made in hell. So if you want to hear about true love and happiness all over talk to Lea...but if you want disturbing gothic novel to me. We are both pretty willing to take it all on.
I work in an office as a..well they never gave me a title but I work here anyways. Sometimes I file, sometimes I answer phones and sometimes I stand out back and chain smoke.

Yes, they do pay me to chain smoke.

Here I will unload my latetest frustrations, depression and lost hopes and dreams. Which I am sure Lea will have something to say about since she always does. This should be healthy for me because I think what I need is a place where I can release my thought in an emtionally exceptable way before I haul off and shoot someone.
Now the real fun begins. Welcome to our Blog!

She's making me....That's why I'm new here....

Hello World,

My name is Lea, I am "Blogging" cause my best friend is making me, she knows I am perfectly comfortable reading about other peoples mistakes, mishaps and special interests but not so much into sharing my own, anyways before I could talk her out of it, she had stolen my seat logged into my computer and used her massive claw hands to enter some information that is now the profile of this blog. She sets me up on this page and with one swift move she is running out of my office and as she did she yelped "Just Put Yourself Out There". So here I am putting myself out there...

I am married and have 3 kids, I work full time and maintain an entire household on my own. Yes, my husband does things too, but usually I just have to re-do them so he is really no help all, I think we will call him " Double D". We have a pretty happy and healthy marriage, we fight at least once a day, have an amazing sex life (I can tell you some stories, boy) and share the same goals when it comes to family and life. My kids are 5, 6, and 9 and they keep me very busy. They each have their own crazy personalities, which I am sure you will hear more about as I get more acquainted with this site, site right, you call this a site or a blog site, oh I am so lost. Aah Remind me to kill Gina for making me do this, I sound like a bumbling idiot.

I must say besides my family my job is the only other thing I have that brings peace to my day. Its like a mini get-a-way for 8 hours. I work with people with disabilities and I love almost every minute of it, the only time I don't enjoy it is when the boss is bitching about hitting numbers, or balancing budgets... otherwise I am a lifer here.

My best friends who I mentioned in the beginning of this spiel is conniving and manipulative, but I have to admit everything she has ever forced me to do has always been good for me..... she set up this blog that we will be doing together. I think you will find it interesting how brutal we can be to each other and still call each other friends, let alone best friends... I think this is one of the most unique friendships you will come across as our views on pretty much everything are never agreed upon...

Happy Following......Blogsters